I feel like abortions should bother me more
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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