I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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