Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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