um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
