Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
