I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
