Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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