I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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