You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
