whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
