Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
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