my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize