none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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