So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
