im drinking this country out of the recession.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
