eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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