At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
