how can u be prego again
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
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