id be glad to
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
