Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize