My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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