I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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