if i can run in heels then i can drive
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
