It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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