Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
