Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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