Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
