She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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