Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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