the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
ttyl tear gas
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
