Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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