You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
