Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
