a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
