Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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