its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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