I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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