We're facebook friends in real life
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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