If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
