Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
