I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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