I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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