My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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