Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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