Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
