i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
