I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
