it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
