giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
