WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i now understand why vodka
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
