doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize