so that wasnt chicken after all
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Randomize
