Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
