Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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