Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
