marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
