Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize