margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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