No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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