Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
