Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
