Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
