I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
