did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
