Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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