Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize