He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
